I finally stopped making plans and trying so hard, and now I'm getting married. I've found someone who utterly completes me, and who I can't imagine living without for the rest of my life. And that's how it's supposed to be isn't it? You have to find that one person, not the person you can see spending the rest of your life with, but the person you can't live your life without. And I've found him.
But along the way I also found myself. I know it sounds lame and corny but it's true. I've accepted myself and my flaws - so far - and I really couldn't be happier. Well, I bet I could be if I wasn't dirt poor and living with my parents again, but that's another issue all together. I'm finishing University this december, with a BA in history and anthropology, and even though I don't know what I'm going to do with it, or what I want to do with it, and it's that fact that scares me, I think I might be okay. I guess I've grown up - at least a little bit. Things have happened in my family life that have been hard to deal with, like my brother becoming a drug addict and suchlike, but again that is for another day.
I found my Mindsay stuff in an old email account, and I think I'll start making more entries now that I've kind of found myself. At least I can post what I've been through and what I'm going through, and maybe I can help someone. If not, at least I can help myself get over certain things, and come to terms with others.
One thing I do know is that throughout my life, throughout my depression, terrible high school years, abusive relationships (physically, mentally and emotionally), rough friendships, and rough family times, it was blog sites like Mindsay and other places that let me read what other people were going through, that helped me deal with my life.
So if you're reading this, even though I know it's from a movie, I'm going to write to you what someone once wrote to me.
I hope that as the world turns, things for you get better. I hope you can understand that even though I may never know you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you.
Jill
